Tag Archives: lonely


Very chilly night, but here I am. Sitting on my back porch, sipping lemon tea and nibbling a raspberry Pop-Tart. Foolish man.

I’ve come to terms with being alone and not being lonely. My work helps. I’m marketing and spreading my brand in order to secure the work I need in the future. Lately I’ve been paying dearly for not planning, for letting sadness and depression keep me down. Little steps, I’m going to be okay.

There was snow last night and into the daylight. My green backyard is white and glittery, sparkling in the light from the street lamps.

My best friend’s sister had babies today. Twins, one of each. Born on (to me) a lucky numbered date. They are beautiful and pure and perfect. Touched me a bit …

Today, look for the pure and innocent. The virgin snow, the burning, constant light from the stars.
The human sunrises being born every day.

The world is you.
The world is me.
We will make of it what we please.

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Filed under Public Diary

This Coin has Two Sides

June 7, 2014

End of the day. It was a long one.

All day I’ve been having fun, doing my job. I was hired to do my act in West Palm Beach, Florida. My act runs about 70 minutes. Travel time was about 10 hours total. (5 hours airport hopping each direction) I’ve been posting pictures, tagging myself and the awesome locales I was in. I would usually say at this point that I’m very lucky, but not tonight.

A fellow performer sent me a heartfelt message that I brag to much about the places I go and the money I make. I should stop.

Here’s my public answer. “No”
First of all, get this clear. I don’t talk openly about my fee. I will answer honestly if asked, but it’s never part of the discussion when I’m posting about my job.

Second, I’m not that lucky. No sir and thank you ma’am: I worked very hard to get here. I lived in very humble conditions and fought for every inch I got. I went hungry. I busked in bitter cold and unbearable heat so we could have groceries. I marketed, practiced and bled for my craft. I wasn’t handed anything. I have earned this position. I’m sorry that all you see is the end result. I pray that you can get there, too. I want this for everyone.

Lastly: here’s the glamorous life I live. I’m currently sitting in a suite on the top floor of the Four Seasons in Palm Beach. My balcony view is of the ocean. To get here, I took two cramped flights, one of which was seated next to a family who, quite frankly, reeked. The aroma was intense to the point of nausea. I had just about gotten used to it when the father decided it was a comfortable enough to take off his shoes. Every person in the immediate vicinity rang for the flight attendants. It was bad, mkay?

I had a heated discussion with Budget about what constitutes a lost reservation. They lost it, I shouldn’t have to pay extra for their mistake. Trivial, but there you go.

I’m in a luxury suite with a terrific view. I get to occupy this room for a grand total of 18 hours … And I’m alone. Everyone I love is somewhere else. So I put up my pictures and I talk about how cool it is to be here with anyone who wants to take the time to read it. Loneliness goes with the territory.

To sum up: I love, truly love what I do. But as it has been noted … It ain’t all glamour.

Meh … More positivity tomorrow. I promise.

Love you,



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