Category Archives: Uncategorized

About an Appeal.

I write from the heart and edit through my head. Sometimes I don’t edit, because the feelings at the time are raw and real and I write because I am a writer. This is my open letter to whoever finds it enjoyable or helpful to read.

It’s also not here to coerce or manipulate anyone. Some close friends who love me gently pointed out that the previous entry might be read as such. Like I was trying to guilt someone into contacting me. And this simply isn’t so. Yes, it was emotional and yes, it was honest. I posted it as a blog because they (some of them) have me blocked on social media. I had hopes they would find it, or a mutual friend would point it out.

It was to them, and I found it was cathartic, once I started typing.

I write my feelings. There’s no other hidden agenda.

The main point I wanted to come from the post is: my door is open.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

An Appeal.

To my children: I love you.

I’ve tried to write this often, but the time is now. This is my heart. Let me be clear.

I was there the moment each of you were born. Mine were the first hands that held you. I was the very first to see your faces. I provided for you, there was always a roof over your head, and food on the table, and clothes for you to wear. I purchased instruments and lessons and negotiated gigs and opportunities, because i believe in you and the arts you embrace. I remain your biggest fan. I sacrificed for you, turned down shows that would keep me away too long. I cherished watching you grow and learn … create and laugh and give laughter. We threw parties and a wedding that were epic in our celebration of life and love and each other. People were jealous of the overwhelming love that was in our house. You had two loving, caring parents who were always there for you, growing up.

Yes, I was away and often, living on my stage, pursuing my dream, and doing what my hands were meant to do. But I called and texted and made sure you knew that, wherever I was, I was loving you and thinking of you. I wanted to show you by example that dreams could be won, obstacles could be overcome, and love wins. We celebrated together, lifted each other when we needed … we were a House O’ Love.

Yes, at times I was an absolutely horrible husband. Yes, I failed you all at times as a father. I’m human, and when i make mistakes, they are usually as large as my triumphs.

I admire that you stand up for the person you love against what you perceive to be an egregious wrongdoing. I do – we taught you to stand in the gap for those you love. We taught you to stand up for anyone that needs and deserves defending, and I am truly proud of you for doing what you think is right and so adamantly. I cannot fault you for that.

Some of you have not spoken to me in over two years. That’s simply heartbreaking. Even if I am guilty of everything I’ve been accused of, even if …
Am I really unforgivable? Does it erase over two decades of the love we grew?

You will always be my children, and I will always love you, no matter what. That isn’t negotiable and will not change. I’ll be here for the rest of my life, waiting for you to get in touch. But I won’t keep begging you. That does none of us any good. So.

You can hold your grudge and be angry, and i will understand your anger and deal with the silence. You can continue to keep me out of your lives, and I will watch from over here and pray for you, and cheer for you. You can hold me at arms length and build your walls higher.

… or you could Love.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

For The Fallen

Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used, put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

 I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well


Henry Scott Holland

 

20799979_10214263323926364_3825277359462981296_n

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Why Patreon?

Hannibal is Creating Stories from the Road

Hello, friends and loyal readers!

Here’s what’s going on in the Hannibal world: a more intense focus on work and art, eschewing a social life for awhile, so that I can get my business and creativity back up to acceptable levels. My heart is for the performance and in helping other artists get their road underway. I cannot accomplish the second until the first is taken care of. (Secure your own mask before assisting others with theirs)

The past two years have taken a toll on me emotionally and financially, but, thanks to love and time, I am recovering and getting myself and my art back together. To these ends, I have launched a Patreon account. Rather than just crowd-sourcing or funding, Patreon allows artists and fans to connect on a more personal level. Supporters become investors in the very personal work of the artist in affordable amounts. There are two main reasons i launched:

  1. Divorce. Lawyer fees, alimony, and a thousand other little things that added up to a money pit. I am doing fine in my business (and improving all the time) but the added expenses have crippled me. Put plainly, I need help in recovering from this disaster.
  2.  Expanding the art. I am working on writing projects, podcasts, and videos to both entertain my audience and to encourage other artists. There will be programs on finding success in the entertainment industry, stories from nearly three decades of life in showbiz, and learning to love yourself enough to truly love others. Finding small joys to enrich your life. I’m not going to the Tony Robbins level of rah-rah, but I do have some experience that will be valuable.

The investors in my Patreon account (or Patrons) will give me the opportunity to fill the debt, have time to write and record, and take my show to more public venues. In return, my investors will get early access to media and projects, and exclusive rewards for your support. I’ve set goals on the account itself (when I reach 50 Patrons, everyone gets an e-book sample of my upcoming book “Across the Table”) and these will continue as we move forward.

Your investment? You can pledge as little as one US dollar a month, and that will let me know that you are there rooting for me. I’m asking for a minimum of five dollars per month, as this will help me with the goal of whittling down the debt, producing a podcast and public shows, and getting published by the end of 2017. There are substantial rewards for deeper investment, and those are all explained on the account.

The account may be located at patreon.com/MagicArtist

Thank you for reading this far, and thank you for your consistent support and love.

best,

h

Leave a comment

Filed under Blither Blather, Uncategorized

Christmas Eve, 2016

A difficult year draws to a close.

Setting religion aside, the next few days are, to me, the most holy. A time for gathering, reflecting, giving (hopefully of self) and uplifting. It should be, anyway. A boy can still dream, even at fifty-one.
A day of forgiveness, laughter and redemption.
But mostly … MOSTLY … a day of Love and Hope.
I still have my faith, as abstract as it may seem.
And my Hope is … that there is Love where You are.

Merry Christmas.
The best of days to ALL of You.

Mr. h

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Failure is Not an Option

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.” ~ C.S. Lewis

 

My Friend, I have some news to share: You are going to fail.

That sounds kind of harsh, but I know you want the truth from me.
It’s a part of the journey we are on. Gird yourself and prepare: it will come along.

Failure will happen to you.

In following  your road, you will make some mistakes along the way, in fact you need too. Some really big ones.

This is how you grow. There can be no creation or growth without some pain. It will shape you, mold you. Like refining silver, you have to purge the impurities. It’s going to be hard, but it’s the only way.

To paraphrase the movie ‘Apollo 13’, ”Failure is not an option.” That’s very true, failure is not optional … in fact, it’s a necessity. Don’t fear failure. Since I’m quoting art, how about this one: “Fear is the little death.” (Dune) To fear failure is to lose the battle before beginning it. Fear tells us to keep ourselves bottled up and protected. It tells us to play it safe. It warns of impending failure. Fear lies to us, deceives us into thinking that if we fail, our dreams are over.

Sorry. It’s just not true.

Failure Brings You Closer to Your Goal

Here’s the truth: Failure helps you succeed. It shows you what not to do or when something doesn’t work. It is the fertilizer for experience. In my career I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded, if you want to keep a record. I’ve been fired, mocked and even booed off stage more than once. I’ve had my phone, my lights and my water cut off. I’ve had my car repossessed and evicted from my home. If i hadn’t been to the bottom, I sincerely couldn’t be as grateful as I am. I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this to you.

I’ve been robbed, protested, preached against, assaulted. I’ve been cheated, swindled and lied to. I could fill a book with promises that have not been kept. Show biz. Because of my faith, I can say that I’ve forgiven all of these. I believe in the greatness of the human spirit. I’ve failed, and I’ve kept on down the road.

Failure is the potential of success, not yet fully realized.

So Now What?

You need to keep dreaming. Keep moving down your road. What we have is this moment; so treasure what it holds. Keep breathing.

When you stop dreaming, you become afraid. You get paralyzed, and that is where you really fail.

You will mess up. You will fall down. On your face. Hard. It will hurt.

“The righteous man falls seven times but rises again.”

Not once, not twice — but seven times. Getting back up produces character and character produces hope.

With failure comes perseverance. With perseverance comes success.

Keep failing, keep learning. Failing means you’re doing. And if you are doing … you’re growing.

Leave a comment

Filed under Musings, Uncategorized

Cruel Serendipity

“Please tell me how you did that.”

I hear this more than any other audience utterance. I suspect more and more, as my career in this wonderful craft continues, that people want to believe that, at least at some level, what I’m doing is real. Real magic, supernatural power. They long to have faith in something greater than themselves. This is one more reason not to tell them: exposure of the work would only spoil the fantasy. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. I’ve had people believe so strongly that they attribute my skill to being ‘in league with Lucifer’. Yes, in 2016. Some demon at my command … finding lost cards.

I am convinced that most magicians, the ‘buy the latest fad’ group, especially, are looking for real magic also. The one trick that will solidify their reputation and shoot their career into the ‘big time’. The big secret is … it doesn’t exist. There’s not an effect or a routine that will create real magic.

But real magic DOES exist.

It happens in the feeling, love and hope you leave with someone. If you are an entertainer, you are giving relief to the weary world, some of whom may just be barely getting by, longing for love and hope … and here you are, with your gift.

Sometimes, the situation is more dire.
I was busking in uptown Charlotte on a recent Saturday night. There was a game happening at the arena and several good sized events, so the crowds were happy and large. I was feeling great. About 10PM a woman came up the sidewalk with three children in tow. The oldest of these was about seven. The woman was very clearly under the influence of something. She hustled the kids up to my table and told them to watch my show, then sat down on the sidewalk and promptly went to sleep.
I couldn’t wake her. Security couldn’t wake her. Meanwhile, all I can think to do is entertain the children, keep them distracted. An ambulance came, and mom got help … I pulled cards and coins out of little ears and didn’t panic. The kids went with the police, mom went with the ambulance.

I stood there with a broken heart and cursed the universe. I cried and felt sorry.

Later I realized the truth and the magic of this. I was there at just the right time. I had a specific set of skills that helped those children deal with a horrific situation. I was precisely where I was supposed to be at just the right time. I could ‘what if’ for hours, but because I was there, I made a difference. Did I save a life? Did I save four lives? I don’t know – what is important is: I was there and I gave love, hope and a measure of peace where there was none. That’s real magic. That’s stone into bread.

You have within you the seeds of hope and love. Have them ready, be generous with them. Fly your flag and use your gifts.

Make Magic Happen.

1 Comment

Filed under Musings, Public Diary, Uncategorized