Category Archives: Blither Blather

A Dream Ridden, Not Chased.

I bit into the fruit, forbidden though it was. It was sweet, though it became bitter – I still remember the sweetness the most.

“Drinking lemon tea and feeling free.”

I have visions of my obsessions and addictions finally being conquered and leaving my brain and heart alone. Peeling the monkey off my back once and for all. Leaving my vision clear and powerful, allowing me to really live my life without burning temptation.

The reality is … I deal with them everyday. Every. Day. I fight and struggle to stay ‘clean’. Some days I lose, and I am bottled in frustration.

Today (at this moment) I am free. The beast sleeps for now. I am drinking lemon tea and feeling free.

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Sadness

There is so much beauty in everything and everyone I see. Most people look away, or past it.

I’m going to try to express to you here the beauty you are missing and the beauty that you are.

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Ramblings of an Aging Magician

A good friend told me that my video diaries need to be more dramatic if my intention is to bring more people to the site. I’m still not certain that that is my goal. I’ve been recording many, but not publishing them.

Does anyone really read these? Am I interesting enough that you want to read what I say?

There was a publication called “Boy’s Life” that I used to get when I was a boy scout. The only thing I really remember about it was the fiction section. I read and re-read those stories, and memorized them. The rest of the mag I don’t remember … I know there were ‘boy scout’ comics (PeeWee something?) and joke sections.

There was a story about two boys trapped in a bathyscaph deep under water. Communication was cut off and water was seeping in. They knew they were going to drown, and there was no hope. Dark. Another was the diary form of a thief who was going to have his hand amputated for stealing. It was his second conviction. I still dream about that one.

I saw a movie this weekend that cast Zach Galifianakis in a dramatic, serious role. He should explore that more.

How long does my show stick with you, and why? Which parts do you remember … what was important?

Respond if you read this far. Even if it’s just one word. This has been an exercise to get my hands writing again. They have been to idle.

Love you.

Hannibal

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Barcelona

Heading to Spain, and Daniel says it’s the best place that he’s ever seen. I’ll be working in the P2i booth at the Mobile World Congress show, so drop by if you’re in the arena.

Thank you to my good friend Jeff Mangum for providing travel tips, this one should be one for the record books. Naturally I’ll be Vlogging, and I’m trying to re-commit myself to this online diary – so stay tuned.

Big Love ~

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The Sleep of the Just?

I went to see Harry Chapin with my Mom. I couldn’t have been more than 13 or 14. My Dad was supposed to take her, but things were strained between them at that time, so Mom invited me. I didn’t really want to go (not a big Chapin fan at that time) but she wouldn’t go alone so …

I remember not being to impressed by the music. I think I knew ‘Cat’s Cradle’ and ‘Taxi’, but I was stunned by how much energy the man could create without loud guitars or pyrotechnics. He basically told a bunch of stories and made people feel good and bad at the same time. He railed against world hunger and our seeming inability to do anything to feed the needy. He moved people. One of his in between musings sticks with me even today;

There are two kinds of tired: there’s good tired and bad tired. The funny thing is, with ‘bad tired’ you can have ‘won’ all day. But you won other people’s battles, filled other people’s agendas, worked on other people’s dreams. There was little to no ‘you’ in it, and when you go to bed you toss and turn – can’t get settled.

Now ‘good tired’ can be a day when you ‘lost’ all day – but it doesn’t matter because you fought the good fight. You fought your battles, chased your dreams,  lived your life and used your gifts to the best of your ability. You follow the path your creator made you specifically for. You can fall back in your bed and say “Take me away”. I’ve done what I do for all of my life. I would have loved to be more successful, but I did what I was made to do and I sleep the sleep of the just.

When you come to face death – that black, impenetrable wall of sleep – will you sleep with peace, without fear?

Just a few years later I read in the paper that Chapin had died at the age of 38. He had used his gifts and fought his battles against world hunger until his end.

Harry gave me a gift that night, one I didn’t recognize until many years later.

I don’t always win. But I sleep well.

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So I have this blog

So I have this blog. I love to write, but I’ve been neglectful of my public musings.

I’d like to share with you, if you want to hear it. Some of this stuff will be intensely personal and some may offend. I’m going to call it the way I see it.

I will often be wrong in my point of view. I don’t imagine there will be a big audience for my ramblings here, but I’m gonna state it.

An exercise in exorcism?

It’s good to be back. I am Hannibal.

H

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Wisdom (Joke of the Week)

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.

Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor?

I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.

After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. “This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.”

The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus.

A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. “Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?”

“A freakin’ quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, dude. We quit!”

And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.

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New decade

I have been told so many times this was not going to work. “We can’t sell you.” “People just don’t get it.”

I think they are getting it now.

So many pressures to ‘succeed’. I’ve found myself lately with the philosophy of ‘Less is More’. I feel like I have waited my whole life for this … why get off the ride now?

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Gratitude?

My car is nearly 20 years old. The family van is making strange noises.

I’m behind on the mortgage because work just hasn’t been there this year. The same with the van payments.

With taxes and end of the year expenses, we have virtually no money in the bank. Bills are due or overdue.

While I have a good act, and I connect with my audiences – work is sparse. I (as always) have great prospects and the future looks bright, but I stress constantly over the phone not ringing.

And.

My best friend is losing his young wife to cancer.  Within weeks.

Dear God, thank you for my problems.

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To Paraphrase

This road is my life
Speeding through the night
I have been to these places
For barely a moment

Wide awake
Sometimes sleeping
Sometimes watching
Sometimes dreaming

Through stroby towns
Too fast to know their names
Too fast to know if I came or will come again

Sleeping towns joined together
By the Parallel lines
Parallel lives

You and I
We’re movie-rich
We’re reflected in the window
The dark night’s black mirror glass
Distant lights from the wrong side of the tracks

Christmas lights
Go by in the houses
Anonymous windows
Anonymous rooms of
Anonymous souls

So take my hand
Squeeze it tight
Make some light
In the darkness
I’m glad you came on this trip
Don’t lose your grip
This road is my life

Travel with me
And we’ll see..

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