Birthday Wish

I wish I had remembered to forgive myself for things that weren’t my fault, and the things that were.

I wish I could’ve seen through the false intentions and scream to myself to run away.

I wish I could’ve known better than to be taken advantage of.

What I wish the most is that I would’ve been more kind to my heart for all the aches it weaved around itself like a defence mechanism. A scar so fresh it could barely stretch away.

I wish I could’ve known better than to carry it like a weight on my shoulders. A shadow underneath my whispers. A guilt that lingered with every passing and coming happiness. A void that fed on speculations of a mind that had wandered for days on end with no sleep to cloak over it with a peaceful mindfulness.

I wish I had become my own savior sooner.

I wish I would’ve acknowledged that I too am human and I too am flawed and that I too am capable of breaking hearts … even if that meant my own.

I wish I could go back to the day we met. I would have left her there.

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One response to “Birthday Wish

  1. “…I wish I could go back to the day…”
    And what person would you than be? Nowadays? And how far are you away to be THAT person, you wish to be? Far away? Far far away? Or maybe not that far away? Maybe the person you wish to be, is in sight? “Future ahead!!”, screamed that hopeful Hannibal inside you on top of your “Soul-Ship”, as you set course to your ideal “Me”.
    “…why not…?”, I asked you… “why not?”

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