Olive Garden. Client/ friend took me for food and chat.
Seated nearby was a gentleman of roughly my age, and a young lady. He was business casual, she a bit more casual in jeans and heels. In conversation it came out that she was 26, but I first took her for 14-15. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but they were quite animated and louder than is customary in establishments such as the OG.
The first thing that drew my focus was him inquiring as to her line of work. “Sugar baby.” Came her reply. There was an extended pause. He spoke, “So is this an actual date, or are you fielding a new client?”
“A little of both” she honestly replied, “I haven’t really made up my mind about you, yet.”
I was intrigued, but focused on my own conversation as best I could. They seemed to be enjoying dinner and, apart from the occasional exclamation, (“his wife thought my dress was a gift for her, and I saw her wearing it in a couple of FB pictures. Never found my underwear, either. I wonder if she’s wearing those, too.”) they kept to themselves.
Later, as they got up to leave (she really wasn’t used to those heels), she turned to him and said, “Before this goes further, I need to let you know. I have a slight heroin addiction. It’s no big deal, really, and I only smoke it; I haven’t shot up since I got out of prison. I’m gonna get a cigarette and check on my daughter while you get the car.”
I’m living in LA, folks. Much love from the OG. More breadsticks?
Help support this magic artist: www.NekkidElfBoots.com
He came into the Cellar theater in the Castle with a group of 3 others, two couples. He was a movie stereotype: the Russian gangster. In his sixties, Shiny grey sharkskin suit, grizzled face, angry expression. Turned out he was, in fact, Russian. His wife wore a stylish bleach blonde wig.
It was just the five of us and I offered them a show. Pieter was super aggressive from the beginning: grabbing cards, insisting on the terms of the show. “Put the cards in my hand and let me pick. Now I get to put it back and shuffle. LOOK AWAY – YOU DON’T GET TO WATCH!” His wife chided him and he sneered at her, all ugly attitude. He slammed the cards down in front of me and demanded I tell him which card he chose. What would you do?
I looked at him intently. (The thousand yard stare I talk abut in my lecture) He laughed to his wife about “All magic is fake and these hustlers are just trying to make me look foolish, but this idiot just got beaten!” (Insert thick Russian accent)
“Five of Hearts”
His face fell and he looked stricken, then angry again. “YOU CHEAT! How do you know this?”
“Because it’s under the Pringle’s can.” (It was)
Then I fooled him again. And again. AND I made friends with him. Jokes at my own expense. Magic that happened in his hand. Stories that riveted his attention. Building his self-esteem until he stopped being a challenger, and became part of the story. I showed him love. I gifted him joy. He roared with amazement when the signed card appeared … and I guessed his wife’s secret word, which happened to be her pet name for him. (медведь гризли)
On a whim, I made him a boot and I told him the story of the nekkid elves. He smiled and nodded and said something to his group. I let them go.
Pieter stood up and hugged me. Then he looked at me with tears on his face and said: “My mama told me this story. I will put this boot by her picture at home.
You are the only magic I believe.”
Now tell me again why I should be doing anything else.