Monthly Archives: November 2017



Pots of paint and huge not-quite-white sheets of paper.
Paint flecked hands and faces because ‘some of us are a bit too enthusiastic’.
(I never changed, you know.)
“… christopher! the sky cannot be GREEN … you arE DOING IT WRONG!”
Also I ‘ruined’ the yellow pot by dropping a dollop (ilovethatword) of blue into it so I could MAKE my AWESOME green sky.
Still doing it ‘wrong’, I guess. BUT I made you LOOK and I made you BREATHE and I got you to THINK and … raise your voice all you like: it is my calling to transform human beings.

I did not know this at the time, but I have come to embrace the notion..

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One price I have to pay in my divorce is being without my family on days I hold sacred.
It isn’t just. It isn’t fair.
I’ll use the empty day: there are souls to whom life has been horribly unfair, and I have the means and skill to serve them. 
Food, laughter, astonishment.
Maybe I’ll save a life.
Maybe it will be my own.

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November 18, 2017

I was going to sit this season out. Just let it slide by and focus on other things. Then I was gifted with a ticket, so i put on my armor and went to the final weekend of the Carolina Renaissance Festival. Former home of Hannibal the Liar.

It was odd, being on the other side of the stage, playing the part of a patron. Old cast-mates greeted me with love and hugs, and I was immediately welcome. I saw shows i never got to see as a performer, I saw the first joust I’ve seen in over 3 years. I saw love and joy being dealt right out on the street. I watched a brand-new game get created. I danced a little. I rocked out with the Craic! I turned my face up to the surprisingly warm November sunshine. I was home, even though I wasn’t performing. (That’s kinda alien to me. They loved me without anything other than simple love in return. They just … loved Me. For Me.)

So I’m learning. Perhaps i do have some value. A good friend slightly drunkenly told me how much I meant to her life, her daughter’s life … another told me of how her father, who lives in basic solitude, had heard of me somewhere.

I went to dinner with the Angels, laughed and dished and ate … then came home to continue work on the ‘new thing’. I feel loved. I feel confident. It’s a really good day.

Off topic, but important: The new book is now available on Amazon, both in Paperback and on Kindle.

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My First Book

Across the Table: Tales and Inspirations from a traveling #cardmonkey.

Now available at Lulu.

Thank you for your support, I hope you enjoy it.


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A Bar

Musing thoughts on a surrealistic bar. You know … you’ve heard about it.

There are hundreds of ‘guy walks into a bar’ jokes, there’s even a youTube channel dedicated to them. An establishment that could be a real bar. A guy walks in, or a girl (usually blonde), A minister, a priest, and a rabbi, and some humorous exchange takes place.

But where is the surreal bar, and what does it look like? The one where a horse walks in, or a bear, a sandwich, a piece of string. How startling and fun it must be, not to mention Happy Hour!

For me that bar looks the same in every joke: A room of about 20 feet square, the bar itself on the left and a bit too close to the door. Tables are scattered throughout. The barkeep and timeline is around just prior to prohibition, and the clientele is pretty sparse. (Except for the odd crab, sipping his beer in the corner)

What does the bar look like to you? Would you buy the depressed horse a beer?

Best made the observation earlier: Bars are the place you go to drink poison out of fancy glasses. And I’ve justified it in the past because the poison took the edge off the pain, helped me bear the loss. (see what i did there?)

Have I been the weird, persistent piece of string? Not me. I’m a frayed knot.


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