“Bakers gonna bake, bake, bake …”
Not everyone is going to like your art. Honestly, not everyone is going to like the really cool shoes you just adore …
So I’ve been getting some emails and texts and such from (well meaning?) people who want to discourage me from doing tonight’s finale’. Most of the reasons hover around ‘you’re just doing this for attention’. Now, this is a fair point and it is the truth. I am doing this for attention. I want your attention and I’m going to try to earn it during the first two thirds of the night.Once I have it, I want to give you my opinion. Then, I want you to take your pains or fears or whatever and write it on me. Symbolically GIVE IT UP for a little while. Be happy and unashamed. Be restful and relaxed. Realize how beautiful you really are.
That’s the idea. The entire agenda. And I’m going to do it again and again as long as I feel it helps even one person: It’s on.
Earlier today I got a text from a long time friend.It was the harshest plea of all. Unedited: “I don’t approve or appreciate the act you’re doing tonight. It’s all for attention and you’re being a pig. A whore about it. Nobody wants to see your flabby, pasty body. They are there because it’s a fucking freak show.”
It stings and my mind tells me there’s a lot of truth there, between the words. And if you are genuinely coming for the ‘freak show’? Come on ahead, there’s plenty of room for everyone. The point is: I dislike my body. Society dislikes my body. I’m fat. Big and fat. I get very uncomfortable in groups of people. Stand up in front of them and act, speak or do card tricks? Oh, yeah.Here I am. But … socialize? Hang inside of a group? I get very anxious.
So I’m embracing both of those fears head on and inviting others to cast theirs off.
That’s what I’m doing. Make up your own mind about how that makes you feel and SHARE it with me. Public or private. I won’t ‘out’ you for whatever your view is. I love you, and I want your unedited feelings. If you feel moved to write your insult on me: COOL. Do it. Get the bad feeling OUT and let me carry it away.